Thursday, July 28, 2011

24 Hour Daylight

Note: This post went from mildly reflective to downright depressing in a hurry. You might want to pass on it but I decided to leave this rambling post as it was.

I am coming to the end of the 24 hour daylight period here. We are already getting sunrise/sunset period, the sun goes down just after 1 am and is back up around 3:30 am. Another week or so and we will actually get about 30 minutes of official darkness.

If all goes as planned this will be my last summer in the Arctic. I never would have imagined when I showed up here at age 22 that I would have spent over 12 years living in a small town near the Arctic Ocean. I have had some great experiences here. I met my wife here at a dance bar of all places, we raised children here, I made many friends, I went out on the land, camping, fishing, dog sledding, all sorts of outdoor experiences. I have driven this northern highway through beautiful mountains, I have driven the ice roads, flown a plane to the ocean, and seen things more beautiful than I can ever explain.

Unfortunately so many of the positive memories are obscured by the bad ones. This is a transient community, I have watched so many friends come and go over the years. This is also a place that is dominated by social problems. Alcohol abuse and, to an increasing extent, drug abuse are overwhelming common. Education is not valued and most children don't graduate high school. Generations of people here have been scarred by sexual and physical abuse thanks to residential schooling and I don't know if they will ever recover. Many of the smaller communities are in a terrible state. During my time here, especially my time as a volunteer police officer, I can't begin to count the number of drunk people I have pulled out of ditches, the violence I have seen, the self-abuse, and the sheer scale of human misery that most white middle class men don't have to deal with in Canada. I've certainly worked in some rough urban areas before I came here but this was different. I saw people at their worst inside their homes. Attempted and actual suicides, rapes, beatings - it's hard to imagine how casual the whole process around it becomes. A few times I had a mild adrenaline rush, you think you are "taking down the bad guys." And then, if you are paying attention, you realize there are few bad guys but a lot of really fucked up people that are floundering in life and need help.

A few weeks ago I was driving home from work and a woman fell into the road, I almost hit her with the work truck. She was covered in blood, drunk, and mostly incoherent. I picked her up, put her in the truck and drove her to the hospital. People were standing by the road watching, uncaring. I don't know if she was beaten or took a fall, I don't even know her name. I carried her into the hospital and this was the first question I got: "Does she belong to you?" No one was concerned about a man carrying a bloody woman in, no one was going to call the police, they didn't even want my name. Just another routine morning though perhaps there was some mild surprise that I brought her in at all.

Such violence and substance abuse creates both direct and indirect victims. The emergency care workers and the police become desensitized and uncaring but how else do you cope? That woman was patched up, probably stuck in a cell to dry out and most likely back at it the next day. I scrubbed down, tossed my clothes and spent an hour washing blood from the truck; didn't think much of it until some other people I work with started freaking out at what happened. At times I used to be mildly concerned with how relaxed I was with everything going on. Shouldn't this affect me more? Or is it affecting me and I am suppressing it?

There's also such an ugly strain of casual racism here. Generally the kind of underhanded racism that can be the hardest to do something about. The first few times that some prick said something shitty about "toothless Eskimo sluts" or something to that effect to my face, not realizing that my wife is aboriginal,* it was easy to enact some personal satisfaction. But it's a lot more common to see people exclude me from their social circle as non-whites seem to make them uncomfortable.

*I'm ashamed to say that I don't think I would have been quite so forward with my reactions if I wasn't in a mixed marriage.

I still have such fond memories of the racist old bitch of a nun that did our pre-marriage interviews. My wife was Catholic, sort of, and I was an uncaring agnostic that had turned away from organized religion. I was willing to get married in the Catholic church for her but I knew it would be an issue (my mother was Catholic). My wife, who grew up in a tiny village that only knew the church through the same priest (lived there for 50 years) wasn't familiar with all the BS that surrounds a Catholic marriage or how out of step with reality the "modern" Catholic church is.

So the nun sat us down for a little meeting. After establishing that we wanted to get married, my wife was Catholic, I wasn't, and that we were living together, it went something like this...

Crazy nun (to me) - "Have you been baptized"

Me - "In the Mormon church"

CN (looking at me as though Satan was made flesh) - "That doesn't count. It must be a Christian baptism at least."

Me - "Mormons are Christians but whatever, I'm not getting baptized"

CN - "We can talk about that later. We are going to need to do a background check on you."

Me - "Um, what?"

CN - "All you white men are just up here looking for your Indian** wife, you are probably already married down south."

Me - "WHAT did you say?"

CN - "These mixed marriages never really work anyway, you should really stick to your own kind."

Me - "Go fuck yourself, we're done here."


Yep, what a sweet old lady to put in charge of marriage interviews. Very culturally sensitive but then the Catholics still like to pretend they didn't brutalize the north for a hundred years.

That was the end of that fiasco, Justice of the Peace, here we come!

**One of the easiest ways to figure out someone is American is their use of Indian as a descriptive term; it is almost never said here other than for old names such as "Department of Indian and North Affairs." To most people in Canada, that's a serious racial/cultural slur. I remember this older couple that flew in, they asked for some weather information then the woman asked me this classic touristy question, "We were going to fly a little north and seem some of the coastal towns but I was wondering if they were just typical dirty Indian villages that aren't worth seeing?" I told her that I didn't know what a typical Indian village was and she should be aware of 2 things. 1) Going up to one of the towns and calling it an Indian Village (let alone dirty Indian) is incredibly insulting and possibly dangerous. 2) It's doubly insulting as the Inuvialuit aren't "Indians" as she understands the term.


I moved here in '99 for work, this is where I was posted with the company. Work has consumed my life here to an unhealthy degree. In our modern and wonderful society it seems work is our main focus and what defines us. Even in a smaller, supposedly slow paced town, I have worked so much just to try to keep up with the extremely high cost of living.

A move is what we need. I want a change in our lives, a chance to start over in a place where we can put down roots. I want a place that will be my home, where I can try to make some positive contributions to the community and plan for what looks like a bleak future.

This is the place where I became a man, it has shaped me, mostly for the better. I have certainly learned a lot living here and I don't regret coming but I do regret staying this long and once I leave, I don't plan on coming back.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

New video review - Large Survival Knife Comparison

I did a relatively brief side by side comparison of four of my favorite large survival knives:

The Cold Steel SRK
The Fallkniven A1 (which I repeatedly called an F1, oops! lol)
The Cold Steel Recon Scout
The Ka Bar Heavy Bowie

Large Survival Knife Comparison youtube video

Social Networking - Lessons from the Slave Lake Fire

I meant to make this post in a far more timely manner. On May 15, 2011, a forest fire destroyed approximately half of the town of Slave Lake Alberta (pop. 7000). One of the most interesting things that an outside observer can learn from that terrible disaster was the role that social networking played in alerting people to the danger.

The town's official notification method for evacuation was radio. A not unreasonable method but one of little use once the radio station burned down!

The timeline information is from this CBC article.

Friday May 13

Alberta Sustainable Resource Development (SRD) posts a link on its Wildfire Info Facebook page to this fire forecast for the Slave Lake area: “The wildfire hazard for tomorrow is EXTREME. The forecast is calling for warm temperatures and very strong winds. Winds will be from the south east 40 km/hr gusting up to 60 km/hr.”

Saturday May 14

Noon - Wildfire starts burning 10 km south of Slave Lake. Several communities west of Slave Lake are put on two-hour evacuation notice.

5:30 pm - A second fire starts east of Slave Lake. Residents of Poplar Estates, Mitsue and the Sawridge Indian Band are evacuated to a Canadian Red Cross evacuation centre at Northern Lake College in Slave Lake. Fire Chief of Lesser Slave River Regional Fire Services confirms that 10 buildings have been hit in the Poplar Estates/Mitsue area.

7:15 pm - Officials with Alberta Health Services meet over telephone to create evacuation plan for Slave Lake Healthcare Centre in north of town. Nine ambulances are called in from surrounding communities to join the two already on standby in Slave Lake.

10:30 pm - Town of Slave Lake declares a Local State of Emergency.

Sunday May 15

7:39 am - SRD posts a message on Facebook: “For evacuations, local authorities will be contacting you and keeping you informed.” It reports that homes along the Old Smith Highway, northwest of town, have also been evacuated, but that the Town of Slave Lake has not been evacuated.

7:52 am - SRD posts a message on Facebook that Hwy 2 west of Slave Lake is closed.

9:19 am - SRD reports on Facebook that Hwy 88 west of Slave Lake between Hwys 2 and 745 has been reopened. Hwy 2 east of Slave Lake to Mitsue is open, “but motorists are being escorted by pilot vehicles.”

9:30 am - Town of Slave Lake reports that 400 hectares were affected by the fire east of town overnight, with 150 hectares still active with hot spots. Two-hundred sixty residents from Poplar Estates and Mitsue have registered at the evacuation centre in Slave Lake. The fire southwest of town is moving westward and has burned 300 hectares so far. Residents in communities west of Slave Lake are still on two-hour evacuation notice.

All highways are open, and the Town reports that the fire chief “is confident that the Town will not be evacuated; however, weather conditions continue to be a challenge for fire crews today as winds are expected to gust up to 70 kph and temperatures will go up to 18C.”

1:21 pm - SRD reports on Facebook that communities on the south shore of Lesser Slave Lake from the Town of Slave Lake to Canyon Creek (25 km to the west) are now being evacuated: “Winds of up to 70 km/h are pushing the wildfire toward these communities. The fire is now more than 1,000 hectares in size.”

2:00 pm - In a press release, SRD reports that the two wildfires near Slave Lake are out of control, burning around 2,000 hectares. Residents who are evacuated from communities west of Slave Lake are told to go to the town to register at Northern Lakes College campus at the corner of Main Street and Hwy 2 in the south end of town. Municipal District of Lesser Slave River has already declared a Local State of Emergency.

2:30 pm - The Town of Slave Lake reports that Hwy 2 east of town is closed due to smoke, and Hwy 2 west of town is open only to evacuate residents.

Between 800 and 900 evacuees from communities west of town are expected, and the high school and middle school are set up to house evacuees. An Emergency Command Centre has been set up at the town hall at Main Street and 1A Ave. “Slave Lake is not under evacuation notice,” a Town release states.

3:15 pm - SRD posts message on Facebook: “It is hard to say whether or not Slave Lake will be evacuated. Firefighters are building a fire break between the town. Stay tuned for additional updates as they become available.”

3:45 pm - Courtney Murphy, news director of local radio station Lake FM, joins government officials in an airplane to survey the fire. Within five minutes, she sends photos to the radio station’s Facebook page with her phone and does live reports from the air. The station’s Facebook page and radio broadcasts become vital links for the public.

Minister of Sustainable Resource Development, Mel Knight, also tours the area by air for around 2 ½ hours, telling CBC Radio that night, “It’s a place where you don’t want to be at the moment.” Knight tells people to visit the SRD Facebook page for updates on the fire.

4:30 - Brenda and Dave Derkoch have piled family photos into a basket. They look outside to see smoke and ash moving closer. With Dave in one truck attached to his trailer and Brenda in another truck, the pair drive with family from their southeast home at 35 Parkdale Way to Main Street then south to the highway. Brenda is told by RCMP to head east, Dave is told to go west. A little more than 1 km down the road, Brenda is told the highway is closed and to turn around and go west.


4:36 pm - Courtney Murphy’s plane lands and she goes back to the station to continue broadcasting. There are reports of widespread power outages in Slave Lake, and the radio station is periodically going on and off the air.

5:13 pm - SRD posts to Facebook: “Slave Lake is NOT being evacuated. Poplar Estates remains evacuated as well as the subdivisions of Wagner, Widewater, Assineau, Canyon Cree and Bear road.”

5:15 pm - Four homes west of the Derkoch home, Sandy Gaskell, her husband and daughter are about to sit down for dinner. Worried about smoke in the area, Sandy asks her daughter to call the Town office, but they are told there is no evacuation order in place. They look outside and see their neighbour’s home on fire. Their daughter grabs a bowl of food and a spoon, and the family leaps into their vehicle and drives off. As they look back, they see their neighbour’s fence go up in flames, then the fence around their own home.

5:50 pm - At the headquarters of radio station Lake FM at 221 – 3 Ave NW, power goes out for the last time, and the station goes off the air. Courtney Murphy and her staff run out of the building and drive away. Forty minutes later, the radio station goes up in flames. The middle school across the street remains intact. Courtney Murphy and staff continue to send updates by phone to the station’s Facebook book page, as well as Prairie FM, a sister radio station in High Prairie.

The Canadian Red Cross tells media it has organized a team of 10 volunteers, 400 shelter cots, 300 blankets and 800 hygiene kits, which are on their way to Slave Lake. On their way, they receive word of a full evacuation and they drive instead to the community hall in Westlock, about 1 ½ hours south of Slave Lake. They wait for evacuees.

5:54 pm - SRD posts message to its Facebook site: “We have just received notification that residents of Slave Lake are being evacuated. The wildfire east of Slave Lake near Poplar Estates has now crossed Highway 2 and Highway 88. Winds in excess of 100 km/h have quickly pushed the fire closer to town.”

6:00 pm - Although there are many reports of houses and building in Slave Lake on fire, no official evacuation order has been issued. Hundreds of people drive to and gather at the Wal-Mart parking lot and in a nearby baseball diamond, just south of Hwy 2.

On his way there, Ernest Supernant stops at the parking lot of the 7-Eleven on the northwest corner of Main Street and 6 Ave SE. He looks north one block as flames hit the library, town hall and shopping centre, then across the street to the Ford dealership, where cars and trucks are engulfed. “Things were just blowing up left and right.”

Roger Auger’s roommate, who works at the radio station, tells Auger to pack his bags and leave. Auger goes to the Wal-Mart parking briefly, but heads back into town, frustrated by a lack of direction from officials. Separated from her son, Dorothy Beaver stays in the Wal-Mart parking lot and watches the fire leap over the highway and engulf the town. Michelle MacIsaac hears the dramatic tale of how her nephew climbs up a balcony to save his sister from a burning apartment building.

6:30 pm - Between 6:00 and 6:30, the province evacuates 29 patients from Slave Lake Healthcare Centre in the northeast of town. Twenty staff, including doctors, nurses and medical students join the patients. On the way out of town, the RCMP tells them the road out of town is closed. Ambulances and handi-buses drive to the Nova Inn off Main Street. Power has been cut. Staff set up mattresses for patients. Within 45 minutes, the road out of town is open again and ambulances and buses drive patients to hospitals in Westlock, Athabasca and Boyle. One patient is flown to Edmonton. Three doctors and two EMS crews stay behind in Slave Lake at the Emergency Command Centre, which has been hastily moved from Town Hall, which was evacuated and has since caught on fire, to Northern Lakes College.

7:41 pm - Despite a mass exodus from town, Lake FM reminds residents on Facebook that no evacuation order has been given for Slave Lake. Lake FM reports that SRD requests that residents gather in “non-combustible areas,” such as parking lots.

7:42 pm - SRD posts message to Facebook: “Residents in Slave Lake are being directed by the Town to gather in safe places within the town limits like the airport and large parking lots. The wildfire has entered the town limits and there are reports of several structural fires.”

8:05 pm - Courtney Murphy, who is now in a baseball field south of town where dozens of other residents are staying, receives a call from Slave Lake mayor, Karina Pillay-Kinnee, that the entire Town of Slave Lake is to be evacuated. Because her radio station is now off the air, Murphy calls Prairie FM in High Praire to broadcast the evacuation order. She also sends an update to her boss in Edson, who updates the station’s webpage and Facebook page within three minutes. Murphy tells people in the parking lot and word spreads. Within five minutes, an official with SRD phones Murphy to confirm she got the evacuation notice.

Alberta’s state-of-the-art Emergency Public Warning System, which notifies people of imminent emergencies over radio and TV airwaves, is not activated. Alberta Emergency Management Agency operations head Colin Lloyd defends the decision two days later, emphasizing that the local radio station had been destroyed and that there was not enough “lead time” for the system to have been effective.

11:00 pm - Resident Barb Courtielle is still in the Wal-Mart parking lot, desperate for news from her daughter, Annette. Annette and her children were travelling west on Hwy 2 earlier in the afternoon behind a pilot truck when smoke forced them to turn around. Annette heads north on Hwy 88, west of Slave Lake. She hits heavy smoke from other fires and it takes hours before she is able to turn around and get access to Edmonton, checking in with her mother, Barb, along the way. Overnight, hundreds of Slave Lake residents drive to evacuation centres in Athabasca, Edmonton and Westlock, as hundreds of firefighters continue to battle the Slave Lake fires, along with 29 out-of-control blazes across the province.

Monday May 16, 2011

10:37 am - At a press conference in Edmonton Dana Woodworth, managing director of the Alberta Emergency Management Agency, echoes the premier’s sentiments. He reports that 95 percent of Slave Lake residents have been evacuated, and no one has been hurt or killed, something he attributes to fast action by firefighters, the leadership of the mayor and the local emergency response team.

Slave Lake mayor Karina Pillay-Kinnee reports that the new town hall and library are destroyed, but that schools and “other major public infrastructure” are intact. She estimates that “a little more than a third [of the town] has perished.”

_________________________________________________________________

I didn't write this post and repost the above information to pick on anyone in government or Slave Lake. I know first hand just how confusing an emergency situation can be and I don't have enough information to judge all that occurred. What is very obvious is how much more effective facebook and twitter can be to alert people to danger rather than older systems using TV and radio. I strongly encourage everyone to sign up/like/whatever any and all government and emergency services facebook and twitter pages for their area. Additionally, bookmark important webpages. Consider forming your own facebook group for family and friends to help you communicate in an emergency.

Review this CNN article Facebook assembles group to plan for disasters. Sign up to FEMA's page, the Red Cross, and Global Disaster Relief.

Too Many Knives

I've made past mention of my efforts to reduce my ridiculous knife collection on ebay - so far, I've managed to do some major whittling down but there are still a lot to sell.

Now it's time for some of the more tough decisions. I want to reduce what I own down to just three useful categories:

1. EDC Knives - folding and fixed blade

My current EDC knives are:

- Benchmade Griptilian 550HG
- Boker Fred Perrin neck bowie
- some crappy throw away keychain folders, one in pocket and one on my keyring

The one change I am going to make is I am going to switch to the Spyderco Yojimbo 2 when it comes available (got my pre-order in), I was able to handle a prototype and it's freaking awesome.

2. Large Survival Knives - some tough decisions here plus these can be the hardest to sell online due to the high shipping cost.

I think I am going with:

- Cold Steel Recon Scout
- Fallkniven A1

The CS is awesome but I still want to get some kydex sheaths - there's some cash out of pocket :(

I was going to sell the A1 but I think it could come in handy if I move to BC with its year-round wet climate. We plan to be on the water a lot more too. I already have a very strong retention kydex sheath for it and I think it will be my "strap to my leg in case I have to build my own civilization after I fall in the river while boating" knife.

I may keep an Ontario Rat 5 knife as well, still undecided.

3. Small Survival Knives - I am keeping my box full of $10 mora knives. I generally favor the 511 for the protruding guard and yes, I know that real bushcraft people everywhere are gasping in horror and that real men don't need guards on their knives. It's just safer and I prefer it that way. So there! :)

I will probably keep a couple of serrated river knives also, I have some quick deploying titanium knives that I attach to life vests.

Everything else must go *sigh* except for some machetes, they are handy and aren't worth selling due to low dollar value/high shipping cost.

I am selling all my "tactical" or fighting knives and all my other folding knives. What a terrible waste of money. I have no need for them and it's better to have a use version and a spare of a knife I am used to rather than constantly rotating my carry knives. Or just leaving them in a box collecting dust.

Monday, July 25, 2011

This blog is taking off

I now have three followers! WOOHOO!

I continue to be amazed at how much traffic I get. I was pretty much expecting zero and a need to turn to my mom for pity page clicks but so far it hasn't been too bad. Of course, writing more would help. And...writing better would probably help a lot! :)

Random Post - hilarious blog entry

I LOVE this woman. Here is some excellent advice.

**Warning, if you are like me, you will be giggling and saying "knock knock motherfucker" for days.**

And that's why you should learn to pick your battles.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Weight Loss

I am finally back from vacation and will start busting out some amazing blog entries any time now. Promise. Would I lie to you?

I have some good news to report. I've lost 25 lbs!

Now begins the long historical explanation, brace yourselves....

I'm just shy of 5'10" and have a slim frame. I like to lift weights a lot and up until a few years ago was pretty muscular for my size. I don't like cardio training much and pretty much hate running, I did play a lot of sports (rugby, wrestling, etc) before I moved north but that pretty much ended here except for martial arts training. The low 180s was a good, fit weight for me way back when. My weight would fluctuate here at times, I work a sedentary job and it's a loooooong winter, but I usually kept it in the not completely horrible range through weight lifting alone and a reasonably healthy diet.

Unfortunately, about 3 years ago I was in a car accident. My mom was driving and we were hit from the side into another car, kid ran the stop sign. He wasn't drunk or anything like that but simply wasn't paying attention. I injured my right shoulder and had an extremely difficult time getting treatment for it where I live. I couldn't lift weights at all at the beginning and only to a greatly reduced extent after. I never got back to the same level of workouts, took a long time just to feel healthy again. I put on a lot of weight and lost muscle, at the start of 2011 was 206 lbs. I was deluding myself into thinking I still looked OK and only needed to lose about 10 lbs or so, thinking of the muscle tone I used to have and adding in a little "winter weight." While I am still more muscular than Joe Average, there was no way I could carry that much weight before let alone now. Buying bigger clothes should have been a HUGE warning sign.

I knew I had to lose weight but was avoiding reality. The wake up call happened in March, I went on a winter survival training course in the vicinity of Drayton Valley, west of Edmonton Alberta (Canada). The course focus was on short term survival (we didn't kill any animals with our teeth) - emergency shelter building, fire starting, etc. To get to the area we were staying at, I had to hike in about 2.5 km (about a mile and a half) through the woods. Area was snow covered, temperatures were around -20 C daytime. The first km was along a snowmobile trail, pretty well packed down, slight uphill grade. The remainder was a steeper uphill grade and along a path that was packed down by snowshoes. Was told that I should be fine without snowshoes, the trail was pretty packed down.

It's not a very far walk and I was only packing in enough for 3-4 days so I figured it wouldn't be a big deal. Started to get pretty overheated after the first 20 minutes, was sunny out, had a hard time dropping layers with my pack on (a little lesson there). No big deal though I was a bit dismayed to realize that I was actually a little tired - I was in terrible shape. Finally made the turn to the next portion of the course and that's when things really went to crap - first few steps and *thunk* in to the snow past my knees. Seems that I exceeded the weight limit for that trail! I spent the remainder of the slog up the hill sinking through to my crotch or knees every three steps or so. Sometimes I dropped through every step. I can't remember the last time I was so exhausted, at one point I really questioned if I was going to finish but I managed to get through it. I pretty much demolished the packed trail in the process, fortunately the people that came up later had snowshoes. The ones that came up before me were significantly (50+ lbs) lighter and had no issues.

I came back home and decided that it was time to face reality - I was fat and out of shape. Not grossly obese but I certainly wasn't "carrying a couple of extra pounds." I picked a target weight in my head (185) but was mostly focused on trying to change my eating habits and integrating new exercises into my workouts. I don't know if I will ever bench over 300 lbs again but that doesn't mean I can't work out at a high intensity.

Initially I tried to lose weight just by eliminating garbage food. I tried (and often failed) to cut out excess sugar, sweets, etc. That and some harder workouts helped, I got down to 190 or so. Still not anywhere good enough, it was embarrassing to see such clear evidence of how much weight I had to lose. Just eating "better" food wasn't enough, I needed to learn to eat more appropriate amounts too. I have reduced the amount of meat I eat, almost completely eliminated sugar cheats, stopped drinking diet pop, etc. I have learned to tolerate running stairs (I still hate jogging and stairs work year round) and have started working more with body weight exercises than weights to maintain functional strength while putting less pressure on my shoulder.

3 great news items:

1. I went through a pretty intensive training seminar and my shoulder took a ton of strain, throws and pulls without injury or issue. YAY! I'm feeling good :)

2. As of this morning I'm 181, a 25 lb weight loss.

3. My old clothes are mostly fitting! Some of the shirts are a little loose though, less muscle tone than before.

The bad news is that I need to lose more weight. I think 170 will be about right. What a waste, carrying around all that extra weight! I feel a lot better, my energy and mood are improved and I am no longer depressed by what I see in the mirror. Just need to keep it up.

I'm still waiting to hear if I will get transferred to BC. That would be amazing. I could lead a lot more active outdoor lifestyle there and everyone in the family is hoping it happens.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

What Men Need to Consider When Approaching Women

Sorry I haven't posted anything for a while, I was doing some training and am now on vacation. I'll have lots to discuss later but this couldn't wait. I came across this amazing article by Phaedra Starling, something all men MUST read.

Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced

No means no was the phrase we used to try to get men to recognize that it's not OK to rape women (how pathetic it is to write that sentence). We need to do better. We need to respect them and recognize the type of RATIONAL fears they have and the power imbalance present in male/female interactions.

And for a little more on no means no, let's read the article below and recognize that we need to respect a women's refusal - she doesn't need to scream NOOOOOOOOOOOO and start running away to indicate her refusal.

Drawing on the conversation analytic literature, and on our own data, we claim that both men and women have a sophisticated ability to convey and to comprehend refusals, including refusals which do not include the word ‘no’, and we suggest that male claims not to have ‘understood’ refusals which conform to culturally normative patterns can only be heard as self-interested justifications for coercive behaviour.

- In other words, a man knows a no when he hears it, but pretending otherwise allows him to keep harassing (or assaulting) a woman until he gets the answer he is willing to accept.

Mythcommunication: It’s Not That They Don’t Understand, They Just Don’t Like The Answer